An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
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There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.