and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor