It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed