his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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