I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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