I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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