"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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