she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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