no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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