And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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