Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.

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  (310): i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details. http://tfl.nu/0mu6
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (2146)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.

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  (508): i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer. http://tfl.nu/xz6n
  Replies (24) Good night (2334) Bad night (603)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes

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  (717): apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes http://tfl.nu/cx0j
  Replies (6) Good night (539) Bad night (2683)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?

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  (508): member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games? http://tfl.nu/dghf
  Replies (21) Good night (1472) Bad night (3042)
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  (415): View more from California

  i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.

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  (415): i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting. http://tfl.nu/f0mf
  Replies (16) Good night (2479) Bad night (912)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.

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  (816): I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding. http://tfl.nu/1j8r
  Replies (12) Good night (1287) Bad night (4804)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.

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  (970): If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time. http://tfl.nu/fjy0
  Replies (18) Good night (4485) Bad night (1978)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.

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  (413): im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask. http://tfl.nu/in4y
  Replies (14) Good night (4656) Bad night (881)
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  (516): View more from New York

  They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.

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  (516): They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were. http://tfl.nu/skxs
  Replies (5) Good night (5285) Bad night (923)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.

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  (336): I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina. http://tfl.nu/vg1w
  Replies (10) Good night (2765) Bad night (1004)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.

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  (812): Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing. http://tfl.nu/xrfi
  Replies (26) Good night (1986) Bad night (1201)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.

  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  You must be good in bed dude

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  (517): She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family. (1-517): You must be good in bed dude http://tfl.nu/2upq
  Replies (4) Good night (1048) Bad night (449)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual

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  (217): Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual http://tfl.nu/ib6l
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (309)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.

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  (713): She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided. http://tfl.nu/l32x
  Replies (1) Good night (791) Bad night (218)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans

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  (519): Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans http://tfl.nu/rcga
  Replies (7) Good night (296) Bad night (786)

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