we have officially lost it.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad