Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"