Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now

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  (321): just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now http://tfl.nu/uvwa
  Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (857)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off

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  (763): I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off http://tfl.nu/3u8c
  Replies (29) Good night (904) Bad night (11173)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I hope mine doesn't look like that

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  (250): I hope mine doesn't look like that http://tfl.nu/sndl
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (2219)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.

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  (716): it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis. http://tfl.nu/lwww
  Replies (57) Good night (6075) Bad night (1016)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.

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  (804): my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go. http://tfl.nu/0t5u
  Replies (26) Good night (4566) Bad night (1410)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.

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  (636): It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy. http://tfl.nu/hnmj
  Replies (17) Good night (603) Bad night (3021)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I cut my penus on the lid.

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  (316): I cut my penus on the lid. http://tfl.nu/uger
  Replies (38) Good night (597) Bad night (6213)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.

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  (712): I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled. http://tfl.nu/klod
  Replies (37) Good night (5286) Bad night (693)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.

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  (202): Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this. http://tfl.nu/0xw5
  Replies (7) Good night (3079) Bad night (1137)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?

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  (603): Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night? http://tfl.nu/gcf5
  Replies (9) Good night (1648) Bad night (724)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.

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  (417): Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast. http://tfl.nu/el84
  Replies (3) Good night (826) Bad night (639)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.

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  (613): Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control. http://tfl.nu/w1lp
  Replies (4) Good night (1876) Bad night (352)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.

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  (404): She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again. http://tfl.nu/3uos
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (257)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly

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  (907): Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly http://tfl.nu/1xxm
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.

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  (918): Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday. http://tfl.nu/brhr
  Replies (3) Good night (345) Bad night (618)

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