shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house