I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
