I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
