i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
