found the other keg... it's in the tree
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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