If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
