loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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