What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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