I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
