I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
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This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
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Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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