I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
do herpes really smell.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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