found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
