He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
