ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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