My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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