Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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