One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
