I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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