I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
