Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
