Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
