Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
