I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize