Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
