We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
porn star boner night. come get it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
