I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize