Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
