So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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