just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
