She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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