The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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