this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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