It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
