the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
