the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
