I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
