Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
