i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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