Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize