Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
