did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
