We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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