where does the pee come out of this thing
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
