oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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