That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
