bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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