my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
