Tell her she can't have a vagina
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
