Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just cropdusted the office
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
