Pappa wants mamma naked
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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