I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
