Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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